Saturday, March 29, 2008

Bible Dipping vs. Sabbath Dipping


Bible dipping is when you ask a question, then close your eyes and open it up to any random page, you put your finger somewhere on the page, open your eyes and whatever phrase you land on is supposed to have something to do with your question. I've played this game as a child. It's very tempting to cheat ... like you rationalize and try to make it out to be the answer you want. You're supposed to play with other people present so they can keep you in check, until you relent and realize that no matter what answer you've all come up with, it means ... you're gonna burn.

Thank goodness it was the 70's and my aunt was mildly influenced by the popular American wave of feminism and shared a few crumbs of sanity with me. Mom always made ugly faces at the television when the devil women were on the news and spat invectives at them. I haven't asked ... but I'm sure she's quite content that feminism is now like one of Sigfried & Roy's white tigers in a cage on Zoloft, awaiting an unlikely, yet possible psychotic break.

So yeah, I play a similar game to bible dipping. Only now, I use Black Sabbath lyrics. I'm being facetious but I'm telling you, for any of life's events I can find a Sabbath song that will answer and console. The magic of Sabbath dipping is ... it comes to me, I don't have to pick up a book or anything! Like when I read about the 4,000 soldiers last week I involuntarily thought, "War Pigs." 70's British heavy metal, imagine that.

... You don't see what's happening to women in the sexist military at the mercy of male soldier's and superiors though. CNN is more like the E channel these days ... Anderson Cooper's desperation to be famous is getting a little painful to watch. I heard he goes home at night and draws all over his face in red lipstick and sings, "I Wanna Be In Pictures." True story. A lot of what is happening to these young women is far worse than death, still I suppose I can summon up enough empathy for the soldiers to desire them to be spared death, even if a good majority of them need a bat to their knees.

And while 80% of the population probably finds Sabbath hideous, the eerie sound quality is positively the other half of the storytelling. Those pagans knew what they were saying I tell you.



Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Mariah Is Nekkid?


It's 9am, I have VH1 on by accident. I see Mariah, so I leave it on as I go about my business.

I'm a Mariah fan because she's a diva, her music is kinda irrelevant, pop medical waste, but you know whatever.

So but I'm wondering ..... at this stage of the game, does she still need to make video's with her tits and ass hanging out all over the place?


Is this necessary?

No, I'm asking ... cause maybe it is.


I mean, nice shape and she looks great and all ...

but how about a little RESSSSSSSSSSPECT!

I wonder if Justin will be wearing hot shorts when he's 35, teasing viewers with imagery of his scrotum. Sure I'd throw up, but if Mariah, who is a legitimately talented vocalist, is forced into reducing herself to looking like a street walker for a computer guy in her video's at 35! then I feel Justin should have to wear a scrotum bra ... you know, to make them look perky. I'll be the first one screaming, "Woohooo!" and taking short breaks to hork into my barf bag.



Tuesday, March 4, 2008

FreeRice.com


This site is great, and fun. Check it. http://freerice.com/